


Escapist

by orphan_account



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: Gen, Madness, Mild Gore, Out of Character, Self-Hatred, Self-Mutilation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:32:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I can't write worth shit but I needed this out of my system.





	Escapist

**Author's Note:**

> I can't write worth shit but I needed this out of my system.

He was still wearing his glasses yet everything was strangely blurry. The air outside his glass prison was a mix of light blue and dark purple. It streaked and stained, moving like a wave and for a second Keisuke thought he had finally snapped and gone mad. Had succumbed to his never-ending bloodlust and was now tucked away in a far corner of his mind while his out-of-control body was out shedding blood. Striking fear into the hearts of others while his own would be pierced by one of the captains' swords.

 

He briefly wondered if he looked like a monster.

 

The absence of sound and the tranquil ambiance did little to alleviate his growing fear. However, Keisuke was relieved to find all his limbs fully functional and the pleasant tingling feeling in them was a small reassurance. He let out a breath he hadn't realised he had held. It was foggy.

Knee-deep in water so clear it was almost transparent, he felt himself drifting, almost as if he was floating in air. Where his bare feet touched the transparent floor he felt nothing. The clothes he wore had no weight and as he sharply inhaled, there was no sound. Slowly he raised a hand and gently pressed it against his chest.

 

Empty.

 

It hit him hard. Losing all strength, his legs gave out beneath him and Keisuke fell to his knees, gasping. Shaking. Almost sobbing. The water was up to his waist and the world behind his glass prison rumbled. He balled his hands and almost suddenly everything was buzzing, fluttering and it just wouldn't stop. It was too soon, too much and too intense.

How much had he lost? And what had he gained? His mind was whirling. This was the colonel of the Shinsengumi. On his knees, broken and afraid.

Trembling violently he slid his hand down to his lower stomach, desperately searching. Looking for something to anchor him. And when he couldn't find it soon enough he started tearing.

Tearing away his clothes, his flesh. All obstacles. Everything that was in his way. Everything useless. Everything keeping him from what he was looking for. What he needed. Digging deeper and deeper.

His soul. His last tie to humanity.

Where was it?

Why was it not there?

 

 Ah, he found something! A gleeful smile appeared on his face but was quickly replaced by a snarl. His hands couldn't grasp it firmly, so he left bloody trails on his vest overtop as he tried to wipe his hands as clean as possible. The surrounding water was tainted, a dark ugly stain in the middle of it all. He eagerly reached in, grabbed and pulled.

 

 Keisuke screamed.

 

* * *

 

 

He awoke with a start. He was shaking, his chest was heaving violently and to his surprise Keisuke felt tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. For a moment he stared at his own hands in disbelief. Then buried his face in his hands, sobbing.

 

 

He didn't want to see it.

**Author's Note:**

> So I had a dream about Sannan...  
> It was very weird and not pleasant at all. And of course I couldn't get it out of my head so I wrote it down instead and now I finally have peace. Originally I was in there with him but I found that to be too awkward to include so I decided to focus more on Sannan. 
> 
> It is really hard, to describe what you see and what you feel so I am afraid that I couldn't do him nor his feelings any justice. Maybe once I can express myself better I will be able too. But for now, I guess this will have to make do.


End file.
